Series: Willow Winters
Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
“What look?” I ask, matching his low tone.
“The look that says you’ve done something you shouldn’t have.”
I let out a short laugh. “I’ve done more than one thing I shouldn’t have.”
I don’t think I have carried it off as lightly as I wanted to, because Prince Jasper looks at me for a few beats, then concentrates on his tea. My stomach drops slightly and a prick of nervousness runs over my skin. Attempting to ignore it, I focus on schooling my expression to heed Jasper’s warning.
After a minute, he clears his throat. “I apologize for the things I said in…the heat of the moment, Princess, if that is not what you enjoy.”
I’m taken aback by his apology.
Shaking my head, I assure him, “It’s not necessary for you to apologize.”
There is another pause. I can feel his eyes on me. It is a very familiar sensation to one I’ve had before, but that means nothing. I am aware of people’s eyes on me, that’s all. I have been aware of them my entire life.
He peeks up at me with a heated look in his gaze. His words are barely heard but I hear them. “You loved that, didn’t you?”
I smile into my teacup and nod my agreement, then put it down and exchange it for a nibble. I need something to keep me from speaking for as long as possible.
“That wasn’t your first, was it?” Prince Jasper questions, his voice even lower, yet calm. He does not lean toward me, and I appreciate the gesture. If the servant looks over now, we will not appear to be discussing anything impolite, and I need that protection now. My heart pounds at his question, and I whip my eyes up to his, keeping my back very straight.
I hold my breath as I give him a gentle shake of my head. I do not want the squire to see me denying anything. I wait for Prince Jasper’s face to change. This is the moment he will give himself away, if he is going to.
But his expression does not change to one of disgust or shock. He does not even look surprised. He merely nods at me, his face calm, and sips his tea.
“How many before me?” he questions, as if he is asking whether I prefer tea or ale.
I lower my hand so that it is hidden behind my teacup—there is no way the squire will see it—and place down one finger only long enough for him to see it.
“One?” he clarifies. I nod, and he nods back. “I won’t tell,” he says easily, and a soft smile graces his lips.
Prince Jasper does not say this as if he is teasing, or as if it is part of a bargain we are making. He simply says it as if it is a matter of fact, or perhaps a matter of honor, and he does not rush to say more. It makes me think he is a man of his word.
I do not know why, but it makes me freshly afraid and freshly defensive. Shouldn’t he care? All my life, I have been told that princes will not look twice at me if I am tarnished before my wedding day. They will judge me on this fact alone. I do not think I can bear it if he is only saying that he will not tell because he intends to be rid of me after today.
“Do you still wish to see me now?” I ask, my fear and hurt coming out in my tone. It is far easier to believe that Prince Jasper will leave, knowing what he knows of me, than that he will stay.
His brow raises in surprise and then his eyes soften. “If you’ll have me.”
It takes me off guard. He says this just as he said that he wouldn’t tell. As if it is not something to be questioned. As if the answer was obvious to him before I asked the question. My fingers shake around my teacup, and I put it down carefully before gathering myself to speak.
“Why do you care for my company?” I ask. It’s a question that I might have asked any of the other suitors, if I had been interested in the answer. I was, I suppose, but other questions seemed more urgent, such as why I was pretending to consider their offers when I’d already had a man in my bed.
“I, too, need a companion,” Prince Jasper begins. “And together, I think we make sense for what our people need.”
It stings, and at first I do not know why. I cover the pain with a nod. It is true that he needs a companion, or he wouldn’t be here. And perhaps we do make a good match for the people. I only wish I had appealed to him in some way. I only wish I had genuinely tried. I have not been kind to him or given him much of a chance.