Series: Willow Winters
Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
“You may have a chance yet,” he says and smiles.
Chapter 13
Cora
I thought I’d known dread and frustration. Surely, I thought, there could be nothing worse than the decision to leave my balcony doors open or closed.
I’ve been proven wrong.
I make idle conversation with Alice and Blanche for far too long as they prepare me for bed to disguise the fact that I am worried sick. My stomach has been in a tangle since Prince Jasper escorted me inside from tea.
We sat across from one another at dinner, Prince Jasper at my father’s right hand, me on his left. I made a show of moving food around on my plate and smiling brightly whenever either of them said anything remotely charming, which was often.
My father appears to favor Prince Jasper. He seemed relieved to have him at the table, and showered him in smiles and questions and listened to the answers. I could also tell that my father was trying his best not to make it seem as if he was putting pressure on my choice.
It was that very effort that made me sure of what I must do.
There’s something there between me and Prince Jasper. It may not be the same raw physical connection I shared with the man from the shadows, but neither of us could now deny that there is a physical connection that is equally intense. More than that, he spoke to me, and after I revealed the secret that could’ve ended our time together, the conversation flowed easily.
It’s a spark that could grow into something more. It is a connection that could be helped and supported by marriage, not stifled by it.
I like him. I’m attracted to him. I’m charmed by him, and I feel for both him and his family. I want to know more about him.
And that is why I must end things with the man from the shadows. Just thinking that…it pains me. I feel sick to my stomach and yet, it was merely a temporary arrangement. I do not even know his name. Surely, it could never have lasted.
I was naive to think that no one would ever be able to take his place. I was also naive to think I could plan my life based on a man I have never seen and who has made no promise to me. The man from the shadows does not owe me any promises—I know that—and he does not owe me his presence.
Above all, I do not think it is fair to him if I allow things to continue the way they have been if I am to be married, and I think—
It is astonishing to feel this way, and suddenly, but I think I am to be married after all. I think I would regret not wedding Prince Jasper. I think I might spend my life wishing I had gotten to know more about him. Perhaps everything about him. And I will only be able to do that if I become his wife.
There have been signs all along that Prince Jasper is serious about me as well, though I did not care to see them as such at the time.
He asked for a week with no other suitors, and my father agreed, so even then he was thinking of taking his time to court me.
My honesty at tea is simply not enough to assuage my guilt. I need to make it clear to my lover—it is so strange and overwhelming to think that I must end things with my lover before I can go any farther with a betrothal to my future husband—that our arrangement is over.
“You look tired, Princess,” Alice says as she finishes brushing my hair and begins to braid it for the night. “Shall I have some calming tea sent up?”
“That would be lovely. Thank you, Alice. Thank you, Blanche,” I add, because I can see in the mirror she is going to the door.
Alice lowers the oil in the torches to dim the lights, checks to see if there is anything else I need, then retires for the night. A cupbearer brings a tray with a pot of chamomile tea and a cup.
I pour tea into the cup, but I’m too nervous to do anything but pace my room. I force myself to make my steps slow and relaxing, and I rehearse what to say. I decide I will be kind but firm. I decide I will handle this the way a princess should. I have the authority to end this, and I have the authority to move forward in my life.
The man from the shadows seems to want me to have what I wish, I remind myself as I go from lamp to lamp, lowering the lights the rest of the way. He came to me and gave me what I wanted. He will give me this, too. He will have known from the start that it could not go on forever.