Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
On the way to the car, I glance at him now and then, trying not to stare. Everything is different now.
I don’t just recognize that he's handsome. I’m the one thinking he’s handsome.
I don’t think his cologne is nice. I like how the cologne smells on him.
I want to smell his shampoo, and slide my hands under his jacket, and I don’t know what else, but I definitely want to kiss him again. In fact, it’s hard not to focus on his soft lips.
Would he be embarrassed if he found out I feel that way? I’m his best friend but that hardly means he finds me attractive.
I am not feeling that great, and Cass isn’t too chatty, so I opt to eat my sandwich later and let myself doze off in the car despite the coffee I drank moments before. By the time I startle awake, we’re surrounded by trees covered with leaves in beautiful autumnal colors. The Jeep is the only vehicle in the small parking lot in the woods, but I didn’t expect there to be lots of people on the day after the party night that is Halloween.
When I step outside, the air calms me with its earthy scent.
I can’t hear a single car.
“Damn, just what I needed,” I say and smile at Cass, who looks back at me from above a map.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t feel like it today.”
“Nah, with you? Always.” I nudge him with an elbow, but then still with the sandwich halfway to my open mouth.
Was that a weird thing to say? Was it a gay thing to say? Am I flirting?
I have no idea since this is stuff I always say to him. Before I put my foot in my mouth, I put the sandwich in my mouth.
Cass smiles, but his gaze darts around us, and he leans in for a hug that envelops me in the loveliest cocoon of all. How could I have not noticed before how amazing he feels and smells.
“Thanks,” he says, pulling back after the briefest moment. “Never change, man.”
Too late. But I don’t say it out loud.
I beam at him once I swallow the first bite. “You keep making me food like this and you got it.”
It’s where the problem lies though. Maybe he likes our relationship the way it is. There’s a stability to it, and if I rock the boat, we might both fall out and drown.
When his eyes meet mine, I want to shove him to the pile of dry leaves behind him and kiss his lips until they’re sore. The yearning inside me is already excruciating, and I’ve only just realized I’m gay. I hate it, and I love it, and it’s an absolute clusterfuck.
I eat even more voraciously, despite the fact that eggs and bacon can’t satisfy my other pressing needs.
“So what’s with the plastic mace you had on the table? Did you change costumes later in the night or something?” I ask, hoping I sound innocent.
His smile drops, and I hate myself for being the cause of it twice over. “Yeah, things didn’t quite go as planned,” he says, leading the way down a narrow path between the trees.
The past couple of days have been dry, so the woods look bright with color, bejeweled with leaves in so many shades, yet all I care about is the man walking in front of me.
“Oh? How so?” Maybe he broke up with Logan and I won’t even have to tell him about the cheating. As I finish my sandwich, at least my body is happy again.
“Things are more complicated than I’d like, you know. I’m wondering if what I’m doing is what I actually want.”
I frown. "You mean your degree?” I’m not sure anymore what this conversation is about but I’m always happy to be there for him.
He lets out an exasperated sigh and slows down so I can walk alongside him. “No. It’s... it’s just that I’m not sure what to do about Logan,” he finally admits, and my heart soars all the way to the bright sky above.
“What did he do? Does this have something to do with the mace?” I ask to show just how oblivious I am to where he got it.
Also, I’d kind of love to sneak my hand into his pocket and hold it there, but that’s a new thought for me to dissect another time.
Cass’s eyes linger on mine. They are such a beautiful shade of green, as if he’s carrying the forest with him wherever he goes. “Yeah. It does have something to do with the mace. I met someone last night, and now I’m wondering if I should tell Logan.”
I bite my lip, unsure what to say despite wanting to yell that Logan is an asshole-cheater-douche. Even the birds seem to chirp in encouragement, but I settle on something more normal.