Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Maybe?
He has that cute smile and I wanna eat him alive.
“I…” I put down my tea, but then pounce on him. “You asshole! I’m just trying to understand all your gay stuff!” Yeah, as if it’s not my ‘gay stuff’ too.
Cassian laughs and tries to roll away, but I hold him still. In the end, he drops his hands and looks up at me. “Okay, shoot. I’m here to answer all your gay questions.”
I shake my head. I could kiss him if I only lowered my face by a few inches. Would he recognize me then? “Do you try to look for sex outside of what you have with Logan often?”
Cassian sighs. “Not really. I suppose I did it a couple of times, but that’s mostly because it would feel uneven if I didn’t, you know?” He blinks. “Not that I don’t like it. It’s just that… I guess I tend to focus on one person.”
I’m glad the thick blanket separates us in case my body gets a little too interested in the position we’re in. “Sure, I get it, Logan sluts around so you want action too,” I tease him.
Cass rolls his eyes. “He has commitment issues.”
“And you don’t? You’d put a ring on his finger?” I laugh but dread the answer. At least the topic means my dick is marshmallow soft.
“I don’t know. We’d have to do a trial run living together.”
My heart stops. That would mean Cass not living with me. We’ve barely lived together for two months and I already struggle to imagine not sharing an apartment with him. But I smile to hide my nerves and shove a pillow at his kissable face.
“Well, too bad! Cause you’ve got me and Lollobrigida now!”
Cassian yells into the cushion, thrashing like a fish on land, but he’s only playing. When I take the pillow away, he’s so deliciously flushed it reminds me of when I witnessed him jerking off.
As much as I love lying on top of him, it’s time to get up or I’ll have a problem explaining why I’m getting hard.
I sit on my side of the sofa. Levi’s words resonate in my head, but I have no idea how to break it to Cass that I have feelings for him. Especially considering how messy his relationship with Logan is.
“Movie night?”
He smiles, grabbing half the blanket. “Sounds perfect. 127 Hours?”
He has this fascination with movies about mountaineers in peril and castaways. After today’s events, watching a movie about a guy who chops off his own arm is the last thing I want, but I’ve already said no to this movie three times.
I can’t deny him any longer.
“Go on.”
Chapter 14
The past two weeks have been perfect.
Without Logan looming over our friendship like a vampire ready to suck the joy out of life at the least expected moment, I could relax and focus on making up for the time lost when me and Cassian were apart.
Many people would say he changed, but while Cass now had a flurry of queer friends and talked about his sexuality freely, at the core he remained the person I fell for. Because yeah, I now recognized that I’ve been crushing on him for the longest time.
That was why the time apart hurt so much, why I was jealous of his time, and why I was perfectly happy when my ex, Emily, stood me up for a planned trip, because I could take my best friend instead.
The conflicted feelings I wrestled with for a long time finally made sense. But while Logan’s current absence made the world seem whole again, the truth was that he’d be back, and I still didn’t know what to do about it.
The limbo in my heart was a stain on every jog we went on together, and marred even my visit at the plant nursery where Cass works. He asked me to come see a plant he was very excited about growing, which gave us some fantastic one-on-one time, but then his co-worker just had to spoil everything by asking if Cass and Logan were planning to spend Christmas together.
I don’t want Logan dead, of course, but I wouldn’t be mad if he disappeared from our life and I never saw him again. But while he’s gone, I’m enjoying my undisturbed time with Cass.
I lost a bet and had to learn to make waffles as a result, but I don’t regret it at all, because now I make Cass waffles for breakfast each day, and it has become our little routine. I haven’t told Aaron about it because it feels like this intimate thing. Our thing.
Just like daily visits to Rainbowology, on the way back from jogging. Levi is always there, crawling out of his office during those particular times in order to give me a look full of disappointment as he asks us whether anything is new. Cass has no idea what it’s about, but I feel like a failure every single time.