Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
I am gay.
So, so very gay for Cass I no longer know where the ground is as his tongue rolls against mine, triggering a jolt of pleasure at the base of my spine. His hands are big, and when they stroke up and down my sides, an electric sensation overcomes my skin. His touch has never felt like this, but maybe because I didn’t allow myself to see it as anything but friendly.
There’s nothing friendly about the way he grabs my ass to bring our hips closer, and I swear that if he somehow drops Logan for me, the eerie melody playing in the background will be our song.
I might be the big troll, but he’s in charge, and I whimper into the kiss I never want to end. I squeeze my hand on his top and lose myself in the kiss that is changing my life in real time.
Sure, Emily grabbed my butt sometimes, but never like this. Or it’s just that I never felt this way about her touch. But time for guilt, shame, and ruminations about my past will come later, because my future is holding me right now.
I’m so overwhelmed by the emotion blooming in me that only Cassian’s skilled tongue can keep me focused on reality.
But there’s also another obvious fact between us.
I’m hard. So hard. I’m like granite, and if he touches me now, I’ll crumble on the spot. This was supposed to be an experiment, but all I want to do is kiss, kiss, kiss, and grind on him like I’m some beast in heat.
Laughter tears me out of the surreal moment where everything I believed about myself crashed down, but as I pull away, Cass wraps his arm around me and rises to his toes, whispering, “Do you have a place?”
Yeah. Our place. Where I’ll gladly dry hump him into the mattress.
My head is filled with loose marbles, rolling around aimlessly.
Doesn’t he have a boyfriend? My Cass isn’t a cheater.
Or is he? Do I not know him as well as I think? After all, he hid his sexuality from me…
“I…”
A flashlight points its beam straight at us, blinding me for half a second, and someone whistles.
“No fucking in here!” the person yells.
Another guy sniggers. “I told you this would happen.”
I don’t know what to do, but my nerves are in tatters, so I do what comes naturally.
I panic.
Before I even know it, I’m running toward the light, pushing the guys away, and then go straight for the wall. I don’t try to look for the exit. I climb over the fence and land outside the labyrinth with a thud.
No point in stopping there.
I keep moving forward without purpose, because I kissed my best friend.
And loved it.
And I’m gay.
Kissing women was pleasant , but only only a shadow of what I felt when Cass’s tongue rolled over my lip.
I’m fucked. Totally fucked.
Chapter 8
I’m gonna drop dead, I swear.
I can’t think.
I can’t breathe.
My mind is a swirl of colors already making me nauseous.
But the taste of that kiss, the heat of Cass’s chest against mine, the firm hold of his hands on my ass are now permanent elements of my world, and whatever I do next, they’ll stay with me forever.
I can’t bring myself to face people, so instead of going back into the frat house, I stomp toward a patch of trees on the other side of the labyrinth, and despite the artificial foam costume making me overheat and the platform shoes hurting my feet, I run toward the copse as if my mom had just walked in on me having sex.
How can a person be both so elated and so terrified at the same time?
I can’t even drive home because I came here with Aaron. I didn’t want Cass to spot my car and now I’m paying for it.
“Think, think, think,” I whisper as I walk aimlessly between the trees.
At least here, the darkness can keep me hidden.
The rhythm of whatever music they’re playing at the party now follows me, but as I step on a little branch, making noise, I hear a gasp ahead. My gaze darts toward its source, and I freeze at the sight of a man stretched against a tree trunk. Another figure kneels in front of him, and looks back, seeking me in the dark. The beard makes it clear that it’s another male.
I feel like gay men are following me everywhere since I transferred here, or is it just that I’m paying more attention?
I’m about to mumble an apology when the standing man leans forward while burying his hand in his partner’s hair, and his face gets spotlighted by the moon’s glow coming through the branches above.
My feet freeze to the ground as I recognize him.
“Dude, do you mind?” Logan asks, as if I were a terrible person for intruding on him in a public place.