Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
I only grunt at the last question as I process the rest.
Aaron smirks as we drive out of the parking lot. “That’s what I thought.”
I deflate, unsure what to think. “I had no idea. It’s like my own brain was lying to me.”
Aaron shrugs, leaning forward, since there are more balloons on his back. “It depends on the person. No reason to beat yourself up. Now that you know, you can actually do something about it.”
A part of me worries what Mom might say about this sudden change in me, but her potential disapproval is overshadowed by a growing pressure in my chest. “I could have gotten together with Cass back in high school. We’d have gone to college together, and he’d have never started dating that cheating bastard Logan!”
Aaron turns into a street not far from the party, and I realize he’s taking me to his dorm. There are people in costumes wandering about, but I’m not in a cheerful mood.
“You don’t know if that’s what would have happened. Maybe you needed the life experience to be where you are now. Maybe you need to play the field—”
I frown. “Are you hitting on me?”
“What? Not everyone wants to bang you, Matt. I already told you, you’re not my type.”
“Something wrong with me?”
“Shut up and focus!”
He parks abruptly enough for me to have to grab the handle above the window.
When I’m too choked up to speak, he turns to face me. “The point is that you now know you’ve got a shot with the guy you like. If you saw Logan with another guy and then Cass kissed you back, then maybe they’re not doing well as a couple. Maybe it’s the right time to tell him what you just discovered about yourself?”
“I can’t tell him I backed him into a corner and kiss—”
Aaron blinks, looking past me, and when something knocks on my window, I turn to see a group of drunk students. One of the guys lowers his pants to show off his ass, and one of his friends almost falls over from laughter.
Can I not have a serious fucking conversation here?
Aaron sighs. “Come with me.”
I grab my clothes so I can change in his room, but we don’t speak when he leads me to his dorm. I now feel inadequate in the foam muscles and armor. Like I should be having fun, but I’m not.
The room is small, meant for a single person, but while most students use decor to transform the standardized spaces into a home, Aaron’s is on another level. There’s a flurry of cushions in dark colors at the headboard, and the bed itself is covered with a thick, plush blanket the shade of red wine. Stacks of books occupy every flat surface and the walls are a gallery of framed pictures in various sizes. A Persian rug rests on top of the standard gray carpeting, and a gramophone stands on a Grecian column in the corner, alongside a collection of vinyls. I attempt to touch the device, but Aaron slaps my hand away.
“What if I tell him Logan is cheating, and he resents me for it?” I finally say, dropping to his bed. “Wow. This is a really soft blanket.”
“My cat loved it,” Aaron says and slides off his top before dropping it to the floor. I watch him open the closet and put on a black turtleneck. “The blanket, obviously. But yes, I’m not sure how Cass would react to the bad news coming from you.”
I’m glad that he confirms my worries so I don’t feel like I’m going crazy, but it doesn’t make my position any less precarious.
“I’ll just… I need some time to process this. It’s like trying pineapple on pizza for the first time, and everyone’s always told you it’s awful, but you taste it for yourself, and it’s the best thing on the planet. Actually better than the other ingredients you tried before.”
He shoots me a skeptical look. “Pineapple on pizza is revolting. Being gay is…” he trails off, and I’m glad even he doesn’t have the capacity to put it into words. “Keep talking, I’ll go wash this off my face.”
He enters the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Doors bang in the corridor, and I hear people having fun, but all I can feel is the whirr of emotion deep inside. And while it keeps spinning, there’s no outlet for any of them.
Could it be that Cass and Logan had broken up just before the party, and I was meant to be his rebound?
“Guess what, by the way! Logan was cheating with the other Spartan guy.” I snort and roll on the bed, hugging the blanket.
“Typical. Guys like him always go for their twin,” he says from the bathroom, but I wait with my answer for the water to stop making noise.