Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 68524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
“I had no idea. How could I go through my whole life with no clue that I have something like that?”
“The doctor said a lot of people don’t show any symptoms until adulthood.”
“So, I’ve lived with this for twenty-seven years,” he said, “and today, out of the blue, it made me pass out?”
“They’re not positive that’s why you passed out, but it’s a definite possibility. Have you ever felt like you were having an irregular heartbeat?”
“My heart feels like it’s racing sometimes. I figured I was hitting the caffeine too hard.”
“Did it feel like that before you passed out?” He nodded. “Then that probably confirms it. Also, you mentioned feeling tired a lot. That might be from poor blood circulation.”
“I knew there had to be some kind of explanation.”
“I really need to apologize for overstepping,” I said. “None of this is any of my business, but because I’d told them I was your husband, the doctor shared this information with me.”
“No, it’s totally fine. I would have told you anyway,” he said. “Now I guess the big question is, can the doctors fix what’s wrong with my heart?”
“Yes, with surgery.”
“Are there other ways they can treat it?”
“I don’t think so, but the doctor will have more information for you when you see her.”
He thought about it for a while before asking, “If I hadn’t passed out today and they hadn’t found the defect, would it have killed me?”
“I don’t know. But your heart is working much harder than it should, and it can’t keep doing that forever.”
“Okay.”
I was horrified when he started to climb out of bed. “What are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t afford surgery right now. I don’t even know how I’m going to pay for this one night in a hospital, let alone whatever tests they did while I was knocked out.”
“You can’t go, Collie.”
“Watch me.”
“But this is really serious!”
“It’s probably not going to kill me today, though. Probably not tomorrow either, if I’ve been living with it for twenty-seven years.”
“But it could be getting worse! You passed out.”
“They don’t really know if that’s why, do they? People pass out for all kinds of reasons.”
“But you haven’t even talked to a doctor yet.”
“They’ll just try to insist that I stay in the hospital, get a bunch more tests, and have surgery, all while running up a bill that’s going to be thousands and thousands of dollars.”
“Yeah, they might, if that’s what it takes to save your life.”
“They can’t say for certain that this thing will kill me in the next six months, can they? Not if it’s already been twenty-seven years. But I know for a fact that I’ll drown in debt if I stay here. I can come back and have the surgery after I find a job with health insurance.”
I exclaimed, “You can’t take a gamble like that, Collie!”
“I have to. My other choice is to end up so deep in debt that I’ll never dig myself out from under it. Literally never.”
“There have to be options. What about Medicaid?”
“I looked into all the state and federal assistance programs last year, because I wanted to get some tests done to find out why I felt rundown all the time. Turns out I make too much money to qualify. Isn’t that hilarious? My puny thrift store salary kept me just a hair above what they consider the poverty line, so they couldn’t help me. I even looked up programs in California to see if the situation would be different here, but nope. I’m just screwed.”
“There’s private insurance, too. Maybe you could buy a policy.”
“They always exclude pre-existing conditions, so that wouldn’t do me any good.”
“Please, Collie. Don’t run away from this.”
“You can’t stop me, not unless you plan to tie me to the bed. Normally, that would be a good time, but not in this case.”
I flailed around for something to say and came up with, “This isn’t a sleazy motel that charges by the hour. You’re already here, a lot of tests were already done, and running off in the middle of the night accomplishes nothing. If you stay until the morning, you can talk to the doctor and get a lot more information about your condition. You can talk to someone about financial aid, too. They might know about some sort of program that you’re unaware of.”
He paused and mulled that over. I was actually guessing that hospitals didn’t charge by the hour, but it sounded right. I breathed a sigh of relief when he muttered, “Alright,” and climbed back into bed. “I guess I’ll try to get some rest. But I still plan to leave after I hear what they have to say.”
I turned off the harsh light above his bed. We could still see each other in the soft glow from a pair of wall sconces, and I gently brushed his hair back from his face as I said, “Do you promise not to sneak out if I doze off?” Collie nodded and shut his eyes, and I moved my chair closer to him before taking a seat.