Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 82955 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82955 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
It’s a situation she should have never been put in, though. The fucker. “It was a win-win.”
Her smile is soft but genuine as she comes around the counter, sets down the glass beside her, and takes my hand instead. The muscles at her shoulders aren’t as tense as she rests her hip against the countertop. “I need to say something, and I hope you can give me grace in the decisions I’ve made.” It’s not a question. She doesn’t wait for me to give her the go-ahead. “I didn’t cause your memory loss, but I feel like keeping you in the dark about what happened between us isn’t serving either of us well. I thought I was protecting you in a way, but I realized I was only protecting myself, so I didn’t get hurt again. There’s no protecting me anymore, and the truth is the only path forward.”
My heart drops to the pit of my stomach as I travel through scenarios of what could have possibly happened between us. “I’ve wondered and waited, but with a start like that, I’m a bit nervous.” I laugh, glancing away and rubbing my forehead. “Do I want to know the truth if it’s that bad?”
“I ask myself the same question each time I circle the topic. What we have is good. Really good.” She rubs the side of my leg, sliding her hand higher to come to rest on top of it. “Will having everything out in the open help or harm what we’re building?”
I sit back on the barstool, hating to move away from her, but I need some room to process the potential repercussions of each scenario. “I’m sure there are pros and cons, but without the facts, I can’t weigh them.” I hate that sunken heart of mine is still thumping loudly in my ears. “All I know is that I have a hole in my memory and you’re the only one who can help me fill it in. I can’t force you to share the information. Only you can decide if it’s worth it. But if you’re asking me, I’d rather know and deal with the consequences.”
With distance still between us, she sets her eyes on mine and says, “You broke my heart. And until recently, I hadn’t realized that you also broke me.”
That confession drops like a weight at our feet, dragging my heart with it.
I expected a date we didn’t connect on, but life changes people, and things are different this time.
Another notion crossing my mind is that we lost contact after we went to college and she got hurt feelings over it.
We argued about future goals.
Didn’t want to date long distance.
Where we saw our lives heading didn’t align.
Maybe we didn’t have chemistry, which is clearly an impossibility because look at us. We’re practically oozing chemistry.
The only other idea I had, but already knew it could never have happened, is a cheating scandal. There’s no way I would hurt her like that. Staring at her now while standing in the remains of the bomb she just dropped . . . I fist my hand to keep it from shaking. The truth of who I am, and what I’m capable of, is finally revealed, and it’s worse than I imagined. The words still don’t process in the way that helps me understand. “I broke you?”
Moving between my legs again, she grasps my shoulders. “You also healed me.” The desperation in her tone matches the frantic change in her eyes. “We’re good.”
“But you were bad? You were in a bad place because of me.”
“Well, when you put it like that—”
“How the fuck else would you put it? I broke your heart and broke you in the process. I mean… fucking hell.” I shake my head as disappointment worms its way into my psyche. “I’m the fucking villain, Autumn.” I need room to walk, to think, to understand why. “Why would I do that?” It’s stupid to ask when she doesn’t know what goes on in my head. Shifting her away from me, I direct my stare into the distance as I walk toward the windows. This view normally brings me peace and comfort in the company of the trees. Not today.
This is reality. My past catching up with my present and threatening the future that’s falling into place.
“This is why I debated telling you. You’re not that kid anymore. Neither of us is. It just took me years to figure that out. But you did. You’re different and not as I imagined at all.” Her hands run over my back but still when she presses her cheek to my skin. “The memories don’t matter. We’re good, Lieutenant. Better than.”
She’s right, but guilt is already seeping into my veins. I turn around, holding her to me, stroking that wild curl away from her eye, and kissing the top of her head. Holding my cheek to the top of her head, I say, “Please tell me what I did.”