Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 88212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
When we were kids, Cedric would help me with school. He would go over concepts I had trouble grasping, so the next time Dad would see me doing homework, he would be proud of my progress. That’s always been the kind of brother he is.
“I missed you.” He ruffles my hair like I’m a kid.
“I missed you until you did that,” I tease. “Happy birthday, Ced.”
“Thanks.”
We head inside, and the first thing my father says to me is, “You’re late.”
“Five minutes. I was here but got a phone call.” Hey, Dad. How are you? Me? Oh, I’m fine. School is going great. I missed you too.
“We have reservations,” he adds.
“Dad,” Cedric says, “we have time. We’re not going to be late.” As always, my brother tries to keep the peace. Before him, it was Mom.
Why do you hate me?
“You know how I feel about being on time. It tells me you have no respect for me.” He’s always felt that way, and while I get what he means, there’s no reason I had to come inside at five when our reservations aren’t until six and the restaurant is only fifteen minutes away.
“Sorry,” I tell him, not wanting to ruin my brother’s birthday.
“How’s school?” Cedric asks, as if the two of us don’t talk all the time. If he thinks he’s being slick, he’s not. I know he’s trying to change the subject, while also giving me a chance to talk about how well I’m doing. It took a lot of work for me to get good in school, and it’s something I’m proud of. I never thought I would be able to do it, especially something like nursing school.
“Really well. I’ve got all A’s,” I say.
“That’s awesome. Just like last year,” Cedric replies.
I try not to smile. He isn’t even subtle about it.
“You’ll have enough credits to graduate this year?” Dad asks, ignoring my accomplishment.
“Yes. The only reason I didn’t last year is because I transferred to Peach State.” Which he knows, but of course he has to have something to complain about when it comes to me.
“It would have made more sense to finish what you started without transferring.”
“I am finishing what I started!” I raise my voice. “I just wanted to spend more time with Ced.” Well, that and the fact that I had more fun at Peach State when I went to visit than I did in Atlanta. I vibe better with everyone here.
I rub a hand over my face, already wishing I could bolt. Why is it always like this?
“I was glad to have Dax at school with me, and Peach State is a good fit for him. They have a good nursing program. And can we not do this today? I just want to have a good birthday.”
I immediately feel guilty, though I’m pretty sure my father is the one who did something wrong, but he also gets me riled up easily, so maybe I’m wrong.
“I’m not doing anything, Cedric. I’m talking to him about college, and as I’m the one paying for it, I’m allowed. But we can leave the discussion for another day.” Dad squeezes Cedric’s shoulder in a way he would never do for me, and as small of a thing as that is, what it does to my heart doesn’t feel small.
We hang out for a bit, Cedric and my father telling me what’s going on at work, before we head out to Dad’s car. I immediately get in the back so Cedric doesn’t try and bridge the gap between me and Dad by putting me in front with him. We both know that’s not what our father wants. As Dad drives us to the restaurant, the two of them end up discussing the housing market, something I know nothing about, so I pull my phone out to see if there’s a reply from Miles.
Miles: You think I’m nicer than I am.
No, I don’t think I do.
Me: You think you’re more of an asshole than you are.
Miles: Maybe I have you fooled.
The thing is, I really think he believes that. I don’t know what happened in his life that has hurt him so much. Losing his mom, of course, but it feels deeper, rawer.
Me: Maybe you have yourself fooled.
Miles: I want your hole.
He deflects, but I let it go because now isn’t the time to argue with him.
Me: My hole wants you. I’m feeling very empty.
Miles: No one fills you the way I do.
I could turn this into a joke, play it off like I disagree, but I don’t want to.
Me: No one fills me the way you do.
Miles: Fuuuuck. You’ve got me hard.
Me: Just the way I like you.
“Why are you grinning at your phone like that?” Cedric asks, and I realize we’re parked at the restaurant, my brother turned toward me, brow pinched in curiosity. “Oh my God. You like someone, don’t you? Does my little brother have a boyfriend?” He smiles.