Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 86826 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86826 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
I’m reeling. In a million years, I didn’t see this coming. I thought Percy was going to kidnap me straight to Julian’s home where he’d set me in front of the fireplace and apologize, then I’d be angry and rebuff him.
But I’m in a cemetery, and it’s cold and rainy, and Julian’s on a hill waiting for me. I nod, taking the umbrella and pushing open the door. The cemetery is practically silent except for the faintest sounds of traffic on the highway a half mile or so away. I walk up the hill to Julian, who stands in front of a single tombstone. His broad shoulders are slightly bowed, one hand shoved deep into the pocket of his coat while the other hangs motionless at his side.
Then finally, as my footsteps grow closer, he hears me and turns.
His eyes meet mine, and I see a million emotions in them. Relief to see me, wariness, sadness… hope. And even with all of that competing to hold my attention, when he turns to face me, I can see it’s not one tombstone, but two. Side by side.
Rain clings softly to my coat and my boots sink into the wet winter grass. I stop a few feet away, wanting desperately to see whose grave we’re at, but a little too chicken to take the plunge. Instead, I say, “Percy said you wanted to see me.”
Julian nods, but his eyes remain fixed somewhere beyond me before finally settling fully on my face. “Needed to see you is more accurate. You weren’t responding to my texts.”
“I didn’t think there was any point,” I say, trying to harden my voice and my heart, but not quite succeeding. We’re in a cemetery and it plays a big part of this story.
“Well, thank you for coming. You deserve to know the truth of why I disconnected from you.”
Slowly, Julian turns toward the tombstones beside him and fear courses through me. I’m getting ready to learn truths I’m not sure I can handle. The instinct to flee back down to the car is so strong, I lock my legs in place. Helplessly, my eyes drift to the engraved markers.
Kylie McMurray Langley.
The name on the boat. Kylie. Kylie Langley.
Before I can parse out the significance of this person to Julian, my eyes move to the second stone beside it. “Benjamin Langley,” I murmur out loud.
Julian’s voice comes rough and low beside me. “My wife and son.”
It’s like a bolt of electricity has punched through me, starting in my chest and radiating outward from my spine to reach every nerve in my body. My gut tightens and my head spins at those four words.
Wife? Son? “I… you… you had a wife and son?”
For a second, he says nothing as rain falls gently around us. The umbrella is keeping me dry, but water runs in rivulets down his face.
Julian exhales slowly, the sound laced with years of grief. “Six years ago, we were driving home after Christmas Eve dinner.”
Dread creeps into me as I inhale deeply.
“The roads were icy. Visibility was bad.” His jaw twitches. “There was a car coming in the opposite direction, driving too fast. It lost control and spun out. I tried to avoid it, but I couldn’t and we were hit head-on.”
My heart plummets and tears form in my eyes. I can’t help the gesture, stepping forward and lifting the umbrella over his head to cover him. My free hand grabs his and I hold tight.
Julian’s eyes remain fixed on the gravestones while he speaks. “Kylie died on impact.” Pain and anguish emanate from his face. “Ben survived, was in the ICU for a week before…” His voice goes hoarse as he fights off emotion. “Before he passed too.”
“Oh, Julian. I’m so sorry.”
“Meanwhile,” Julian says, a bitterness entering his voice, “I didn’t even have a scratch.”
I glance down the hill at Percy waiting in the car. He’s giving us privacy while remaining close enough to intervene if needed.
“I thought the grief would eventually ease,” Julian says after a long pause. “Everyone tells you it gets easier with time, and yes, it definitely became manageable. Most days, I can think about Kylie and Ben and be filled with happy memories and I’m grateful for that.”
His eyes drift toward tombstones, and he nods at the spot beside them. “I bought that plot for myself,” he continues. “I had it all planned out. Someday I’d be buried beside them.”
A chill moves through me, leaving behind emptiness. This is why he disconnected. This is why we can’t ever be anything for the long term, because he has a life with his dead wife and son.
Or an afterlife, maybe.
I try to harden my heart again. I try to go back to the anger I was swimming in just an hour ago, because within that fury, I can keep the hurt at bay. I need to get back to that, because accepting the loss of Julian to a dead wife and son is devastation I can’t handle.