Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
I slammed out of the barely stopped car and bounded up the stairs, headed for my room. She was in there, buried under the covers, her face hidden from me. “Does your family know too?” She pulled the covers down from her face and glared at me, her eyes spitting fire. I didn’t need to ask what she meant; I just nodded my head as I walked towards her.
She went back to hiding, and I almost laughed, but now was not the time. If I’m not mistaken, there were fear and tears in her eyes when she looked at me just now. I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the bed with her. I guess this talk was long overdue.
JESSICA
I’m not sure why I thought of coming back here after making my escape, but that’s where my feet led me. The panic I felt was nothing short of astronomical. How did they know? When did they know? My sister, I could understand, but Mom? And everyone else? I thought I’d done such a good job hiding it all these years; now I feel like a fool.
No wonder Dad didn’t make a fuss about me being here, and my brother was more than willing to give me away; they’ve always seen right through my pretended dislike of him. My heart was still thumping away in my chest, and I felt even worse because I’d just run past his Mom with a hurried hello before hiding in here.
She probably thinks I’m an ill-mannered pig and will complain to her son as soon as he walks through the door. I looked around the room for some place to hide since there was no way I was heading back downstairs now.
Why am I so flustered? Nothing else has ever made me react this way. Why do I still have so much fear and unease where the two of us are concerned? I’d long come to terms with the facts. He’d made his stance pretty clear that night back then, and no matter what was said now, that was the only truth I’d ever believe.
He saw me as nothing more than a spoilt little kid who was always underfoot. He’d only slept with me because he was drunk and I threw myself at him; that was the truth. Only he knows why he’d given in this time and brought me here. The question of why I’d stayed is something I don’t want to look too closely at just yet, but I haven’t lost my mind enough to trust that this was some sort of happily ever after and forever situation.
I admit that it’s still hard for me after all these years and the distance I’d forcefully put between us for me to resist him. It had been the same that long ago night too. Even though I knew he hated me and had seen the look of disdain on his face when he took me to bed, something inside of me couldn’t help but go along with it.
I’d convinced myself that it was nothing more than the fulfillment of a silly girlish dream; that was all. I had to do that to stop the bleeding of my broken heart back then, or I might not have survived. The pain of that heartache is something I never want to endure again as long as I live.
So, I’d swallowed everything, put that night behind me, although it almost killed me to reach that point, and moved on with my life. Mom’s words had ripped the proverbial Band-Aid off that wound, had exposed it to the light once more, and all my hard work was in vain.
I never wanted them to know, never wanted them to see that side of me, that weak, lovesick fool who had gambled and lost. But there was also something else behind that, I never wanted them or anyone else to see him in a bad light. Isn’t that just silly?
After the way he’d ripped out my heart and stomped it under his feet, I still couldn’t bear the thought of anyone looking down on him. After all, it wasn’t his doing. The fact that he didn’t love me was my own cross to bear, and he shouldn’t be ostracized or penalized because he didn’t return my feelings.
I heard heavy footsteps rushing towards the door and held my breath as I pulled the covers more firmly over my head. It will take a truckload of C4 to get me out of here now. When the door opened, and I felt him stop at the foot of the bed, I pulled it back long enough to question him about who else knew about my long-wasted feelings.
His answer almost made me catatonic. His family knew, too? How the hell could everyone know? So, all those times I interacted with his family, they knew. My face burned fiery hot, and I wanted to bolt again, but where should I run to? I’d been so happy with the day’s work and now this. I couldn’t even enjoy Dale and Charlotte’s misfortune like I’d planned to. Damn!