Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
JULIUS
She’s such a cute mess. One minute she was spitting fire at me with her eyes, and the next she was pouting like a recalcitrant toddler who didn’t get her way. That phone call from her sister had scared me so much I’d forgotten for a minute that I already had a tracker on her, and by the time I remembered, my heart was already in my lungs.
I only breathed easy when I realized that she was headed for my home, and that realization gave me a weird sense of peace that she’d come to me in her time of trouble. Knowing her as I do, I can understand why she’d run. Someone as proud as she is would find it hard to understand and accept that the people around her, the people she loved, had always been aware of her one weakness, the thing she’d tried so hard to hide.
I kicked off my shoes and went to join her on the bed, knowing that it was time to remove that boulder from between us. It was a testament to how much she loved me that she’d even let me get close to her again without hashing everything out first.
She might not know it, but she trusted me more than she thought, and that love that we’d both tried to bury had only been waiting for the tiniest spark to ignite it again. Now there was no turning back, and no reason for me not to tell her the truth.
She tensed up when I pulled her into my arms, her back turned to me, her little body strung tight as a bow. “You didn’t do anything wrong back then. It was all me.” She got even tenser until I kissed her ear and tightened my arms around her. “You scared the hell outta me and still do.”
She lifted her head the slightest bit but didn’t turn around. I felt the tension leave her, though, as she relaxed back against me. “How so?” That voice didn’t even sound like her, so soft and timid as it was.
“To understand, first I have to tell you something,” I told her about the family deal, no longer willing to call it a curse. How could it be something so dark if it had brought her to me? She listened attentively and didn’t interrupt, not even to call bullshit, which I half expected her to.
“The first time you approached me, you were too young, and that saved me. Since I’m not into perversions, it was easy to brush off those uncomfortable feelings back then. But that night, that night, I couldn’t fight it any longer. It was like something else was in control.”
“I didn’t have the excuse of your age to put distance between us and I just…I just fell under your spell.”
“So you’re blaming me.” There was no anger in her voice.
“No, that’s just part of whatever this is. I don’t think it’s pheromones; I think it’s way deeper than that, but as I said, my heart is drawn to you, not just that, my very being is drawn to you, and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.”
“I’ve always known that story, always heard my father and brother talk about what it felt like for them, and I guess I always saw it as exaggerations, but that night, what I felt went way beyond my own imagination.” It felt like she had sucked the soul out of me. Even now, I can still remember the panic I felt.
“Being with you that night went beyond sex or lovemaking, whatever you want to call it. I felt like I was no longer in control of myself, like I had given something more than my essence, something I could never get back.” No, that’s not the right way to explain either.
“I mean, it felt as though if I’d stayed with you any longer, I would no longer be me, just your puppet. Am I explaining this right? Do you even understand what I’m trying to say?” How could she when I myself didn’t? All these years and I still can’t put it into words.
“I think so. Your family legacy is about soul mates, right? The men always know when they’ve found the woman for them.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Because it is, jackass.” She sat up in bed with a huff and folded her arms across her chest. If she were standing, she’d have stomped her foot on the ground.
“Go on, tell me how little old me scared you so bad that you tore a strip off my hide and embarrassed me that night.” I opened and closed my mouth twice but could not utter a sound. She was right after all, my own fear had led me to cast her out of my bed with harsh, unforgivable words, because I was scared shitless.