Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 76782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“I knew this was too good to be true,” she whispered. “That there would be something to end this.”
Horrified, I was on my knees in front of her, holding her cold, trembling hands. “No, Autumn, No. I’m still me, mo fhiadh beag. The man who loves you. I would never hurt you. I would die to protect you.”
“I’m so confused.”
“I know. I didn’t want you to find out like this. I wanted to sit down and tell you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
I smiled ruefully, tucking a strand of her silken hair behind her ear. “Because I was afraid of exactly this—losing you. Afraid you would walk away when you saw all of me.” I met her teary eyes. “I’m just a man, Autumn. Flawed. I’ve made choices I’m not proud of, but I strive every day to be better. The part you fear now is a very small piece of me but one I have had to use to survive at times. But it doesn’t change who I am. I’ve never felt about someone the way I do you.”
“What if I can’t—” She broke off, a sob choking her.
I hung my head as a buzz sounded, indicating my car was here to take me to the airport. I met her gaze, my own eyes wet with emotion. I forced out the words. “Then I will keep my promise and let you go. You have nothing to fear from me, Autumn. Or my family or anything else.”
I rose to my feet. “I have to go. The car is waiting.”
She stood, and I engulfed her in my arms, drawing her close and holding her tight, praying this wouldn’t be the last time.
“I love you, mo fhiadh beag. That hasn’t changed for me, nor will it, even if you walk away. I will be here, waiting for you. And if you needed me, I would come.” I held her tighter. “I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“I need time to think,” she whispered.
“Will you be here when I return?”
“Yes.”
Relief flooded me, but I knew we had a lot to work through. I could only hope we were able to do so.
She lifted her head, tears rolling down her face. I cupped her cheeks and bent low, kissing her, memorizing the feel of her mouth against mine. Her taste. How she felt molded to me.
Then I walked away from her, knowing I was leaving my heart behind.
Knowing I would never again need it if I didn’t have her.
AUTUMN
The flat felt strange after Sully left. As if the discovery that the man I had fallen in love with had a darker side made the place colder somehow.
Or maybe it was knowing he was gone that made me feel even sadder.
I had no idea what to do with the information he provided me. How to accept a part of him I didn’t know existed. It's not as if we disagreed on our favorite candy.
He condoned murder when it was “required.” He was actively searching for someone to have them killed on my behalf.
Did that make me an accomplice?
I paced around, tense and upset. I stared out the window, losing track of time as my mind tried to absorb everything I had learned. A short while later, a soft knock on the door startled me, and when I peeked out, I was surprised to see Bonnie standing there.
And yet, I wasn’t.
I opened the door, and she looked at me, a sympathetic expression on her face. “Sully sent me. He said you needed a friend.”
I opened the door wider to let her in.
She was right.
Bonnie made tea, obviously at home here. I sat on the sofa, my mind racing. She handed me a mug. “Talk to me, my friend. You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” She clicked her tongue. “Sully is all over himself, upset and thinking of refusing to go to Dublin and chuck his career down the drain just to come back and comfort you.” She met my eyes. “He’s terrified he’s lost you. I’ve never heard him so distraught.”
I shut my eyes. “How much do you know about him and, ah, what Niall and Finn, um, are?”
“They are great men. All of them. The choices they have made are theirs. They have been good to me and my family. To Roisin and her friends.”
“But they—”
She cut me off. “I was stuck once. Terrified out of my mind in Paris. I went on a solo vacation even though I was told repeatedly not to go alone—that it could be dangerous. Turned out those who advised me were right. I was being followed. I kept seeing the same man for two days everywhere I went. The way he watched me terrified me. And I knew I was being targeted. I called Sully, and he told me to stay where I was in a little café. Half an hour later, a couple walked in and came to my table. They knew my name and told me to call Sully. I did, and he confirmed Finn had sent them. That I was safe. They escorted me back to the hotel, checked me out, and took me to a much nicer place. Showed me a picture of the man following me to confirm it was him. It turned out he and some others were known for grabbing women tourists off the street. They assured me it was over and I was safe—that I had an escort the next few days anywhere I wanted to go. In the end, I cut my trip short, I was so rattled.”