Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 114492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
I lean forward, my eyes locked on his. “Oh, so, for instance, if a guy’s got a business trip to New York for a whole freaking week, then he should just text brief messages to a woman like, ‘Hey’ and ‘What’s up?’—just enough to let the babe feel like he’s thinking about her but brief and superficial enough to keep her wondering if he’s even interested at all?”
Josh grins broadly. “Exactly. Let her wonder if you give a shit or not. Keep her off-balance. And then just sit back and watch her eat out of the palm of your hand the next time she sees you.”
“Hardly,” I say.
“Dude. What the fuck are you two talking about?” Henn asks.
Josh ignores him. “But you have to be wary. Because she’s a demon spawn and she’ll start fucking with you—doing shit like demanding to see something you’ve never shown anyone, something that’s none of her fucking business—all while acting like what she’s asking for is perfectly reasonable and that you’re the crazy one if you say no.”
“Interesting. Maybe she’s not playing head games, though—ever think of that? Maybe you’re reading the situation wrong, completely misunderstanding her motivations.”
“No, that’s just bullshit justification for sociopathic behavior.”
“Sociopathic?”
“Borderline.”
“Wow.”
“The bottom line is that she’s just a goddamned terrorist—which means that on principle alone, you must never, ever give in to her unreasonable demands. You just gotta keep your eye on the prize—the big picture—and stay strong.”
“What the fuck are you two talking about?” Henn asks.
“And the big picture is . . .?” I ask, completely ignoring Henn. “Pray tell?”
“You don’t know?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t.”
“Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, then I can’t help you.”
I squint at Josh. “So that’s the sum total of your advice on how to bag a babe, huh? Dick it up, dig in your heels, don’t act desperate, and keep your eye on the prize?”
“Yeah, pretty much. That and always wear cologne. Women are highly sensory creatures. You gotta overwhelm all their senses—sight, sound, smell, touch. It’s primal.” One side of his mouth tilts up.
“Okay, this I understand,” Henn says. “Wear cologne. That’s something I can actually do.”
“Well, as long as it’s the right cologne, yes,” I say. “Wear the wrong cologne, and you’re sunk. The wrong cologne is worse than no cologne at all.”
That cocky grin isn’t going anywhere. “Oh really? Well, what about mine, for instance? Right or wrong?”
I hate to give him the satisfaction, but the truth is the truth. “Very, very right.” I say. I inhale deeply as if I’m taking in his scent from across the table.
Josh barks the name of his cologne at Henn. “Write that down, man. You heard the woman—she likes my cologne a lot.” He licks his lips, assessing me. “Actually, you know what, Henn? If you’re gonna get advice on how to bag a babe from anyone, you should get it from Kat. She’s probably the world’s foremost expert.”
I narrow my eyes. What does that mean? Did he just call me a slut? Or does he think I’m bisexual? “No, I think Josh has lots and lots more experience bagging babes than me.”
Josh rolls his eyes. “Testy, testy. Jeez. What I mean is that you’re a babe, so best to ask you. Actually, you’re the best of both worlds. You’ve got a vagina (so I’m told—I’m still not sure I believe it) and you’ve got four brothers, too. So as a woman and an honorary dude, you can give our beloved Henny the female and male perspectives on babe-baggery. Shit, with those credentials, you could probably teach a Learning Annex seminar on the subject, maybe even a twelve-week course.”
I smile broadly. “Thank you for recognizing my expertise.”
Josh nods. “Plus, you’re demonic as hell. If he’s gonna learn the ropes, best if he learns from an instructor who blows shit up, rather than one who plays by the rules. No one ever learned a damned thing from following The Rules. Ever. Am I right?”
I shoot him my most demonic look. “Well, actually, yeah, we’re definitely in agreement about that.”
Josh grins.
“Well, all right, then.” I turn my attention to Henn, popping up from my chair. “Get up, Henny. We’re gonna role-play.” I let my eyes drift suggestively to Josh. “One of my very favorite things to do, actually.” I wink.
The smoldering look on Josh’s face tells me he understands my meaning just fine.
“Come on, Henn. Get up.”
Henn stands warily.
“Okay. We’re at a bar. You see me from across the room. You’re interested in me. Go.”
“Go?”
“Yeah, go. Do what you’d normally do when you see a babe at a bar.”
“You want me to do what I usually do when I see a really pretty girl at a bar?”
“Correct.”
Henn shrugs, beelines to the front door of the suite, opens the door, and leaves the room. Josh and I look at each other and burst out laughing. After a beat, there’s a soft knock at the front door and Josh strides to it, still laughing.