Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 132657 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132657 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Harlow reached out and put a hand on Ruby’s. “I hope so, too, but I don’t know that I’m doing what you think I’m doing. Niall can’t be happy without Jensen in his life.”
Ruby flipped her hand over and held it. “I am going to ask you a couple of questions, and I need you to be honest with me. Do you love Niall? It’s okay if you don’t. It’s okay if this whole thing was fun and sexy and exciting and you really only loved Jensen. But you have to be honest.”
“I love Niall. I love him so much it fucking hurts.” No hesitation there. She was trying to be honest with herself.
“Okay, and you don’t think you can ever forgive Jensen?”
“I don’t…” Honesty. “I’m so mad at him.”
Ruby took a long breath. “What’s under the anger?”
Tears filled her eyes. “Sorrow. I’m so sad that he didn’t trust me. Fear. I don’t know I’ll ever love anyone the way I loved them. But it can’t work. I can’t take Niall away from his only family.”
“And how is that any different than what Jensen did to you?”
Fuck. Harlow sat back, breaking the connection because damn it, she was right. “I didn’t talk to him. I stood there and looked at them and made the decision to spare Niall.”
“Nope. Who were you sparing, sweetie? Who did you want to save from heartache?”
The tears spilled over. “Me.” She had looked at them together and realized Niall would have to make the choice between them, and she wasn’t sure what he would do. She’d made the decision to spare Niall the problem of choosing. But she was saving herself the heartache of potentially not being chosen. Even when he’d told her he chose her. “I love him, and I’m scared he’ll regret choosing me. And I worry that it won’t work without Jensen.”
“Does he have to break all contact with Jensen to be welcome in your life?”
Put like that it sounded awful. “Of course not.”
Ruby was relentless. “Could he still maintain a relationship with Jensen that doesn’t include you?”
She would never dictate her boyfriend’s friendships. “Yes.”
“Then shouldn’t he be the one to decide what he wants? Like you wanted to be the one when Jensen left?”
What had she done? She’d looked down and been jealous that Niall could still feel for Jensen when she was frozen. Jealous he could be the better person. Worried he wouldn’t understand that she couldn’t be. She still loved Jensen and watching him lie there… It damn near broke her, but she was trapped in a place where she couldn’t try again. She wasn’t sure she ever could. But would she demand he leave Niall’s life, too? Did she even want that? Or did she want to put Niall in exactly the place he’d been in before? Watching over someone because the person who asked was too afraid to try?
“Harlow, lay it out to him,” Ruby advised. “Tell him what you’re feeling. Please don’t lock all of this up inside. Regret is a toxin in your veins, and I don’t want that for you. If you don’t feel like he’ll hear you out, then he’s not the right man for you.”
Harlow brushed away tears. She knew exactly what Niall would do. “He’ll listen to everything I want to say, and he’ll hold me and kiss me and tell me he loves me and chooses me. But what if it… What if I need them both?”
“Then you find a way to make it work,” Ruby said with obvious relief that she was finally talking instead of making sarcastic comments and drinking too much wine.
Harlow suspected that she would have gotten this whole conversation with her mom in the morning if Ruby hadn’t pushed her. Or Greer. Or Gigi. So many people who wouldn’t leave her alone. “I don’t know if I can trust Jensen.”
“Would you consider it if he worked on himself?” Ruby asked.
She knew her bestie. “What do you know?”
“I know your dad isn’t going to tell Jensen to fuck off,” Ruby revealed. “I might have listened to your dad and your papa in their office. You know the one without windows, but the lack of windows weirdly makes it easier for sound to bounce around to certain places. Like the air duct in the bathroom next door.”
Ruby would have made an excellent spy. “And what were they talking about?”
“Your dad called The Club and rented an apartment for Jensen. He and your papa are going to offer him a chance. He works at The Club and he goes to therapy, and they don’t force him to leave the city,” Ruby replied.
“But why?” She could believe it of her papa. It sounded like him. Her dad… She kind of thought Chase Dawson would lead the charge to shove Jensen out.