Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86422 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86422 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“What if he leaves me? What if I gave him my heart and he doesn’t want to keep it?” More tears run down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be too needy, Lexi. I don’t want to push him away and I don’t want to lose him and I’m just…scared that any of those things could happen. I don’t know if I can handle another hole in my heart.”
“Big Pheels.” She wraps her arm around me and kisses my temple. “I know it’s scary, but you can’t live your life being afraid of the what-ifs. You can love him now, and be in this now, and when the future becomes the present, you deal with it then.”
“It’s so hard when it’s all outside of my control.”
“I know.” Lexi gets out of the SUV and comes around to my side. I unfasten my seat belt and step out into her arms. She cups the back of my head. “Love is powerful and life-changing. Mac seems like the kind of guy who will understand why this is so hard for you, he might just need a little time to see it all clearly.”
“I miss Mom and Dad.”
“Me, too.” She hugs me tighter.
“Love is hard.”
“It is, but when it’s right, it has the ability to heal.”
CHAPTER 36
MAC
“You got this,” Lovett assures me as we step onto the ice.
I bump his glove as we skate to center. Aside from practice and classes, I’ve spent the past couple of days holed up in my room, frustrated over my idiocy. I should have been honest with Fee weeks ago, but my fears kept me silent. I didn’t want to upset her, or get into a fight that resulted in her not talking to me, and both have happened. I feel like shit.
But I have to put my worries in a box so I can prove to my team, myself, and my hopefully still girlfriend, that I can play hockey. My confidence needs to come from within, and that extends far beyond what happens on the ice today. So I take a deep breath as I move into position and channel my energy into the game.
We win the puck drop, and Stiles passes to Lovett. I skate down the ice, Steele behind me, Stiles to my right. Lovett dips behind the crease and taps the puck to Stiles, but his shot goes wide, and I move in, snatching it before Ottawa can steal.
Steele blocks another player from getting to me with a shot to the ribs, and I pass back to Stiles. He’s having an off game though, and an Ottawa enforcer nabs the puck. Steele is already on him, though, fighting to regain possession. Sticks chop the ice and elbows fly—there’s nothing clean about our play—but we’re tied and we want the win. I want it so badly I can taste it.
I finally hook the puck and send it back down the ice. Lovett chases it, and Stiles moves back into position. Lovett passes to him and I angle myself to the right of the net. Brody passes to me, and I take the shot, but it bounces off the goalie’s stick. Lovett nabs it on the rebound and sends it back toward the net, right before an Ottawa player checks him to the boards.
It’s the perfect shot, flipping up into the air, but it’s sailing right toward the goalie’s open hand. The next three seconds are a comedy of errors. The puck hits his glove, but he loses his balance and goes down on his side. He tries valiantly to keep the puck from falling backwards with him, but it’s too late. It hits the net behind him and gives us the goal we need to win the game as the final buzzer sounds. It isn’t pretty, but I played better tonight than I have since the beginning of the season, so I’ll take it.
Coach joins us in the locker room and gives us a way to go, guys, but you can play cleaner speech. We shower and change into our street clothes, the buoyant mood slightly tempered.
As we’re climbing onto the bus, Coach gives me a chin dip. “Good work out there tonight, Meyers. I know you’ve been putting in the time this season, and the extra effort is paying off. You almost had that goal.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
I slide into the seat next to Gage who’s frowning at his screen. It seems to be a common theme these days.
“What’s going on?”
“Something with my sister’s bestie. She’s having roommate problems this semester.”
“They’re both in res, right?”
“Yeah. My sister has a private room, but I guess her bestie has this roommate who is up all hours of the night and has some…weird habits.”
“What kind of weird habits?”
“Apparently she likes to be naked a lot.”
“Like full birthday suit?”
“Or close? I guess yesterday she came home from class and her roommate was sitting in her computer chair wearing only a crop top.”