Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 68524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
I was surprised by how much I loved that about him. I’d always thought I needed everything to be planned out and predictable. But Collie was constantly proving me wrong.
10
Miller
Early the next morning, I drove Collie to the hospital. His surgery wasn’t scheduled until that afternoon, but first they wanted to run some tests, and do whatever else needed to happen beforehand.
He was surprisingly calm. He’d even slept the night before. Meanwhile, I’d paced around the house and thought about all sorts of horrible what-ifs that I’d never repeat to him.
About an hour before the surgery, we were alone in his hospital room. They’d stuck an IV in his arm and hooked him to some monitors. And somehow, he seemed perfectly relaxed. It was like whatever happened, happened. He’d made peace with it.
As for me, I was still nervous as hell and trying my damnedest not to let it show. He could probably tell, though. Maybe to distract me, or both of us, Collie said, “Tell me something I don’t know about you, Miller.”
I took a seat in the chair at his bedside. “Like what?”
He thought about it and said, “Do you think you’d ever try to find your birth parents?”
“I actually did that when I was twenty-three. I was out of college and making a lot of money at that start up I told you about, so I decided it was the perfect time to go to Korea. I’d dreamt about it for years. I grew up feeling like I never fit in, and I thought, how amazing would it be to go someplace where everyone was like me for a change?”
“And was it all you’d hoped for?”
“Not even close. I was a total outsider, way more than I’d been in my hometown. I didn’t know the language, the culture, the customs. I’d never felt so alone. Meeting my birth mom was the worst part. We could only communicate through an interpreter, and it was painfully obvious she wanted to be anywhere but there.”
“I’m sorry, Miller. That sucks.”
“It really did. I asked her why she gave me up, and she said she’d gotten pregnant by accident and had no interest in being a mother. Turns out my dad was some rando she met in a bar. She didn’t even remember his name. So, she gave me up for adoption and pretty much never gave me a second thought—until I showed up and tried to have the most awkward family reunion ever.”
“Damn.”
“At least I found out my birth name. But then, that sucked too, because it turned out my adopted parents had known it all along. They’d just chosen not to tell me, even when I’d asked.”
“What was it?”
“Su-Jin Kim. Although in Korean it’s last name first, so Kim Su-Jin.”
“That’s pretty. Have you ever thought about going by it?”
“Nah. At least Miller is familiar. If I went by Su-Jin, I think I’d feel like an imposter—someone playing at being Korean with no real understanding of what that even means.”
“I get it. You know what’s wrong with Miller, though?”
“Do tell.”
“It makes me feel like a dude-bro who’s always calling you by your last name.” He deepened his voice and exclaimed, “Hey Miller, whassup!” Then he grabbed my wrist and hoisted up my hand to high-five me. “It’s like I should be wearing a backwards baseball cap and pledging a fraternity.”
I grinned at that. “Would it be better or worse to call me by my actual last name?”
“Anderson feels more like a first name. Maybe that’s because of Anderson Cooper or something.”
“Maybe.”
“What’s your middle name?”
“Robert.” A huge smile spread across his face, prompting me to ask, “What?”
“I was thinking about calling you Millie, and now I find out you’re Millie Bobby.” I stared at him blankly, and he said, “As in the actress? Millie Bobby Brown, from Stranger Things?”
“Oh. Right.”
“I’m totally calling you that from now on.”
“Do you have to?”
“I think I do.”
“Well, I can’t really argue with you. Not today.”
“True! I can probably get you to agree to anything right now.”
I admitted, “Yeah, you probably could.”
“How about matching tattoos? Crap-ay Diem in huge letters across your chest?”
“Not a chance in hell.”
He smiled at me and teased, “Come on. This might literally be my last request.”
“It’s not.”
A nurse bustled into the room just then, and I got up and stepped back to give her room to work. She quickly and efficiently took his temperature and blood pressure, then flashed him a friendly smile and said, “It won’t be long now, hon. You team will be down shortly to prep you for the OR. You need anything in the meantime?”
“I’m good, thanks.” After she left, he asked me, “Why would she ask if I needed anything, since I’m not allowed to eat or drink before my surgery? What was she offering?”
“I don’t know. A magazine, to pass the time?”